NW 23rd Street, Portland, 5:17pm

'Hey, can I bring you guys anything? Beer? Sliders? We have a mean cheddar cauliflower soup.'

'A water, please'

Followed by water...water, water.

'Alright then, 4 waters. No worries, guys. Just so you know we've been boiling the water. We're even using bagged ice. Expensive as sin but can't be too safe, right?'

--

'...what?'

'Yeah, no, I just wanted you guys to know that we've taken some precautions and are boiling the water as advised.'

--

'I'm sorry but what the bizerk are you talking about?'

'The e coli scare.'

--

'I take it you didn't hear?'